Okay, here we are, y’all. The halfway mark. Fifteen posts. Holy frijoles. Do you realize, dear readers, that because I customarily post only once a week that so far in November I’ve thrown up almost four months’ worth of posts? Does this mean that I can take a half-year break after November 30th? Kidding. Sort of.
So, what have I learned so far? Well, to be sure, I’ve learned how to post You Tube videos. Also, Evie now knows what “Mommy has to do some writing” means. This is a good thing. Posting every day has really cranked up the ol’ writing gears. I guess Uncle Stevie King was right. What’s the best way to come up with writing ideas? Write, baby. Write.
I have to clarify, though. Ironically, blogging every day hasn’t greatly eased the process of coming up with ideas for the blog. It has, however, starting things popping again on the fiction front. Which is also a good thing.
So, in celebration of my lack of anything substantial to blog about today, I thought I’d treat you guys to a list, which is, as you know, the last vestige of any blocked blogger. Enjoy!
THINGS I WONDER ABOUT BUT WOULD ONLY TELL YOU GUYS
1. Why do old people always drink coffee at fast food restaurants? Does it really go down that well with a Big Mac?
2. Why are there 30-minute spaces at Walgreens? Who’s spending longer than half an hour at the drugstore?
3. I bought a huge bottle of wine the other day for only six dollars. How far away am I from purchasing wine in a box?
4. I have created about twenty stations in my Pandora account. The same songs keep playing on all the stations. Especially Cat Stevens’ songs. What does this say about me?
5. Why does Cat Stevens’ music grind into my brain like a 16-inch drill, causing me to click the thumbs down button with the rocketship speed of a cheetah? Why does Pandora keep playing “Peace Train” even though I’ve made it decidedly clear that I hate Cat Stevens? Does Pandora hate me? Why?
6. I may have a crush on Gordon Ramsay. Have I finally crossed the line?
7. Why is it that a dress that I happily and comfortably wore six months ago is now too small? I haven’t washed or dried it. I weigh exactly the same as I did when I first wore it. Did the dress go on a diet?
8. Can my cat teleport herself? I swear she wasn’t in this room just five seconds ago.
9. During a recent Rachel Ray appearance, was Katie Holmes secretly begging me for help through the TV screen? Since she’s probably down the street from me right now, what are my obligations?
10. When Evie sticks a small plastic-jewel-craft thingy up my nostril, am I wrong for waiting for the next commercial break of Kitchen Nightmares to go the bathroom and dig it out?
11. Is anybody still reading? Anyone? Anyone?
By the way, thank you, thank you, thank you, to all of The Evie Standard’s readers. Your support and encouragement mean the world to me. You are all my beotches.